Saturday, 29 June 2013

Strength of a Mad Man : The Road Map

                                If this picture fails to rouse your Adrenaline and Testosterone levels then check yourself again. That's the reason your last girlfriend left you...

The guy in the picture is the immortal Mariuz Pudzianowski, 5 times World's Strongest Man Champion and probably one of the strongest, if not "THE STRONGEST", man to ever walk on the face of planet earth. If you think the heaviest he ever lifted is 20 kg more than you do now then that explains why everything is wrong with the education system today. YOU ARE A MORON...

Your whole gym probably doesn't have the amount of weight he lifts in a single movement. The weight you target that you'll lift one day is nothing but a warm up set for him. Have a look at his lifts.

-Bench Press 275 kg
-Squat 360 kg
-Deadlift 395 kg

If you are asking where is the Curl then you must be that very person whose DICK and ARM are of the same size and your parents are definitely ashamed of you. Stop bitching around the Biceps BITCH!!!

It is strength and I mean furious  strength that makes everything else possible. It is the strongest male animal of every species that gets the booty. Humans are no different.


If you're finishing with jerking of for the straight third time then lets get down to how you can be the one stop shop for the bootylicious out there.

Maximal strength training is the name of the game. Though there are quiet a few ways to achieve your goal of maximal strength I'll rather outline the infallible one. And that is called lift heavy frequently. One lift only, that is the SQUAT. The full blooded power squat is the tool for your mass construction. Nothing in the world will give you the HOLY SHIT, mind numbing, awe inspiring strength like the high frequency squatting regimen.

This is Stan Efferding, World Record holder in the Raw Squat..

A minimum four days of squatting per week for at least two months straight is a must. A mix of full Olympic squats, powerlifting style wide stance squats, front squat, jump squat and Pistols (One legged Bodyweight Squat) done alternatively is the best template to go by.

That is a full ATG squat. Go for it!

That is a Front Squat, Deeeeeeep...

This is the Pistol and this is ME firing it...

Shoot for a heavy single for each variation every training day for the first month. In the second month start adding back off sets of 3 reps and each for 3 or 4 sets maximum. e.g. if your 1RM in the wide stance squat is 150 kg , then shoot for anywhere between 130 to 140 kg for a single and likewise for the other variations. And for the back off sets choose 80% of that single and perform 3 or 4 triple sets.

Add Bench Press, Pull ups and Over Head presses as you wish. There is no hard and fast rule for these. Do as you like, just be heavy.

This is as simple as it gets but nowhere near easy. It will be tough. It will be gruelling. But the strength gain after the stipulated time will be stupendous. Xtreme result demand Xtreme Performance. Be an Xtreme Performer. Are you GAME?

Do not come back unless you can make me proud with your squat...

Sunday, 23 June 2013

A Case For Losers

Given the number of advertisements concerning weight loss it can be safely derived that the wanting to be losers are like lemmings in number. This fad of losing weight is like that seasonal fever that refuses to go away even after a handsome dose of antibiotics. From the obese child of fourteen to corporate dick of 42 seems to be hell bent  on surging on the number of losers on this already over populated planet.

If these people are not abject objects of hatred then WHAT IS?

Why on earth would you want to lose weight rather than fat?
                      Losing fat while gaining lean muscle weight should be your motto on the first place. But this idea seems to be lost in translation due to the large number of ignorant fools who claim themselves to be experts.Fat loss is not as complicated as you would like to believe and eventually avoid any kind of effort resembling hard work. The process is actually simple but do not confuse simple with easy.

Considering you're a youth of 25 and is a continuous source of laughter for your friends due to your body that is closer to being a bag of potatoes rather than a human form the greatest barrier in your path of becoming the macho honcho of your town is the sheer lack of will on your part.If you have the will to put in the effort we have a plan.

This is ME. I still consider myself a beginner though I'm way better than 90% of you reading this blog.

Now that you're back after vomiting your shit out for being more humiliated than ever in your life lets get on the path of becoming at least ME, and a superhero afterwards. 

Schedule :
3 alternate days a week

Day 1 : 
15 mins of jogging
5 mins of panting(Humiliation Once again,Ha Ha),
5 mins of jumping jack
5 mins of cursing me
you're done for the day

Day 2:
Curse me once again
5 mins of Squat jumps
2 mins of rest
5 mins of Squat Thrust
10 mins of being dead
5 mins of light jogging
Once again you're done for the day

Day 3:
5 mins of jogging
2 mins rest
3 mins of mountain climbers
2 mins of rest
5 mins skipping
2 mins of rest
Spot running till you fade out

That is your initial plan right there. Start on the mission if you dare or else get ready for being the constant source of inspiration for your local stand up comedian for the rest of your life.See you next time if you are still alive..